Remember Supersize Me, the documentary where Morgan Spurlock ate nothing but McDonald's for 30 days? It's OK if you don't, but either way you should watch this video from comedy troupe The Whitest Kids You Know where he tries the same experiment with Jameson's. It's like the ultimate Physical Challenge - and the best line by far - "That coat check girl has a name!"
And so, on this most famous of drinking days, we give you this pugnacious and foul-mouthed little drunken scrapper. In all fairness he may be dressed as an Oompa Loompa instead of a Leprechaun, but if you can get past that it's entertaining enough. Plus you can hear some Dropkick Murphys-y music playing in the background, so we're calling it Irish! Glad to hear the Murphys have hit a Spinal Tap-esque level of LP-related awesomeness.
Editor's Note: Don't watch this video if you don't want to see an angry little person being dangled by his ankles. You were warned.
We don't usually pay much attention to the goings on at music festivals (we leave that to our friends at Music Festival Junkies) but this video brought a smile to our faces. No, it has nothing to do with music, or the festival even, really. It's just the struggle of one hammered man trying to put on his flip flop, and it's so epic we're surprised Hollywood hasn't optioned this guy's life story. Thanks for the link, Bill.
This dude gave himself the ultimate physical challenge by getting flailing-ass drunk and attempting to buy beer. Our favorite part was when he fell over the first time and couldn't get up, but refused to remove his hand from the 12 pack to extricate himself. Favorite moment too is when he juuuuust misses the handle on the exit door and hilarity ensues.
One of our interns claims the guy must have something else going on because no one can get that drunk. That intern obviously hasn't been working here long enough. (Thanks, Crotchbat)
We're not exactly sure why we're including this as a Physical Challenge, because we don't recommend anyone do it unless they are A) a member of or B) a roadie for Cephalic Carnage, the band that came up with it, according to Drunkist...apparently they read the whole article that went with the video. Oh well, we're not the types to get weededed anyway. And another thing...wait, man...what were we saying?
Anyway, just get out your vaporizers and crackers or whatever and watch the video. It's pretty intense...like The Strikeout from Beerfest if you got mystically transported into a Cannibal Corpse album. On a side note, is it just us or does Weed Vodka sound like it would taste like Satan's bunghole?
It's been a long time since we discovered a game that combines our love of drinking with our love of being nerds, but we've just been informed of what might be the greatest drinking game we've ever heard of, The Wizard's Staff. The unromanticized version is that you tape your beers together as you drink them to form a long, staff-like cylinder, but there's so much more to it. Watch the video below and head over to Slosh Spot for the full rules, and then prepare to get your wizard on.
It's been a while since we've done a physical challenge, so we think it's high time we give you another idea for something stupid to do this weekend. TEGWAR is a drinking game we used to play in college, and we'll give you a hint: it's really only fun for the people who are in on the joke.
What you need:
Gullible friend (s)
Other things that are helpful:
Any other gaming-related items you have at hand (dice, cards, paper & scissors, hats, whatever)
A knowledge of other drinking games you can pillage from
A background in theater
Wit, guile, and nerves of steel. Lacking that, you should have your running-away shoes on
To boil things down, you and your co-conspirator tell your group of friends that you have a great game to play, but one of the rules is that you can't tell them the rules. The ostensible goal of the game is for your dupes friends to figure out the rules. The true objective is to see how weird you and your ally can make things before anyone figures out that you're just making shit up.
If anyone plays this, please let us know the results down to the last contusion. See the more full description of how to play below.
Remember that scene in Cool Hand Luke where he promises to eat 50 eggs in an hour, and by God he does it? We just found out that scene has inspired an amazing tradition called Newman Day, where instead of eating eggs, they drink 24 beers in 24 hours. Well, no more time to chat - the day's wasting, and we've got to go pick up a case.
Newman Day, or (at Princeton University) Newman's Day, allegedly named after Paul Newman, is an annual tradition at Bates College, Princeton University, Kenyon College, and other colleges where 24 beers are consumed over 24 hours. It usually occurs in January at Bates and every April 24 at Princeton and other colleges. One possible explanation of the name of the tradition at Bates is that Paul Newman once said "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not," and loosely based upon his character in the film Cool Hand Luke.
It has been far too long since we posted our last physical challenge, so we decided we needed to come back with a bang. There's a little something we've always been enamored with, something that makes us giddy as schoolgirls (and has the possibility to make us falling down drunk too). What is this activity that has our hardened livers turning cartwheels?
Drinking a fifth of liquor in a sitting (or at least in a day). Read more below. [Update: Or don't, if you think we're actually recommending you do this, as one of our commenters is concerned about.]
We haven't done a physical challenge in a while (we quit in shame ever since we got too girl drink drunk and then couldn't beat the flush). But, here we are, back on track and itching to dish out some more punishment. Our typical physical challenges include changing our drinking habits, or maybe playing some kind of crazy game. Today's is much more straightforward - we're going to teach you how to blast the bottom cleanly out of a beer using only your mind...and the palm of your hand.
Read on for instructions and a video of someone doing said trick from Youtube.
Drinking is one of our favorite hobbies. Who're we kidding...it's our only hobby. One thing about booze, though - once you drink it, it turns into urine pretty quickly. It's a fact of nature.
We've thought of a lot of games to pass the time while we're passing the fluid from our favorite pastime, which isn't surprising considering how often we're staring forward reading bar bathroom graffiti. That's when we came up with Beat the Flush - nature's greatest bar bathroom sport (other than the spontaneous hookup). The rules are simple, you can play by yourself and you'll have plenty of time to practice, you lush.
All you have to do is flush just as you start, and then try to finish before the last bit of water sloshes away. Sounds simple, doesn't it? It's not as easy as you might think with six pints in you. Let's just say this...prepare to push.
Every time we mention the weekly physical challenges we post to the site, someone says "Have you posted about Beer Dice yet?" Every time they explain the game to us we've been hesitant to post it because it sounded like some low-rent beirut knockoff, but the more we read about it the more we think it sounds like a great game. We've laid out the rules below, which we modified from the semi-official rules we found over at Pinky McDrinky (whick sounds like a fun game in its own right - read up on it here).
We've come up with what we think is a great physical challenge - we love any drinking game that involves hand-eye coordination. Actually, who are we kidding? We love any drinking game - read on to learn the rules of this one.
Remember the movie Teen Wolf? Of course you do. It's the single greatest werewolf-related basketball comedy ever made in the 80s. While the movie has its own special panache there are two characters that put it over the top - nope, not Boofer and Styles...it's Coach Finstock and the Wolf himself.
Coach Finstock's finest moment is when Teen Wolf comes to him for advice, and he lays down the following gem:
There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.
We know from clever, and clever is whoever came up with the Edward Forty Hands game. This is the best kind of game - not a lot of props, not a lot of preparation, and you can watch TV while you do it. The rules are deceptively simple, the play is exceedingly sloppy, and it's inspired by a Johnny Depp movie. You can't really get any better than that.
The rules you ask? Get two forty ouncers (we say it has to be malt liquor...none of the 40 oz of beer or whatever) and a roll of duct tape. Tape the 40s to your hands. The tape doesn't come off until you finish both bottles, and the first to finish wins. All we can say is we hope you A) have a big bladder or B) have a very close and trusted friend to help you unzip...and even more delicately, zip back up.
Stay tuned next week when we stick with the Depp theme and play "40 Oz Jump Street" and "Malt Liquors of the Caribbean," but until then check out the 40 Hands wikipedia entry.