Someday, we hope to be at least this drunk while wearing a Santa costume. Until that day, we're going to have to be content with this amazing video of a Santa Claus doing the equivalent of trying to put on his flip flops.
We can tell you what would happen - you would go off the rails in a giant flaming fireball of a wreck. But what if you put the results on video? Pure Internet gold, that's what. Check out the diary and all seven (seven!) videos from the experiment - we've included the final one below. If you need some convincing to watch it, here's the summary line from the article - "(Four Loko is) pink death piss from Satan's prick in a 22 ounce can and it should not only be made illegal, the people responsible for making and selling it, right down to the poor chump at the convenience store, should be put to death."
Looking a dip a toe into fermenting your own potent potables, but don't have the time and inclination to do all that "boiling" and "sanitizing"? Sounds like you're the target market for "Spike Your Juice," a kit that lets you ferment any juice that comes in a 64 ounce bottle.
Each kit comes with 6 yeast packets, 6 bottle labels, 1 airlock, 1 rubber stopper, and recipes, and you won't have to wait as long as you do for beer - it can take as little as 48 hours instead of multiple weeks. Six batches of fermented juice, with alcohol content of up to 14% - you don't have to be in math club to know that's pretty easy on the wallet. Of course, it could taste worse than prison Pruno (think vomit-flavored wine cooler) but hey, you're doing it yourself!
You can pick up a kit and try it out for $10 at ThinkGeek; or you can get two kits for the price of two (that's around $20 to the layperson) at Amazon.
If you're half as sick as we are of those ubiquitous Disaronno ads that play on basic cable, you might just be ready to make your own Amaretto. Or, perhaps you're looking for a gift, or just want a project to do to keep you from dwindling into insanity. Whatever the reason, check out Chow's Homemade Amaretto recipe below. [via Liqurious]
Looking to get in touch with your inner child, and still catch a buzz? Sounds like you might be in the mood for some Adult Chocolate Milk. Made by Temperance Distilling Company in Temperance, Michigan, ACM is a 40 proof (20% ABV) liqueur that will soon be joined by some other flavors - including Adult Orange Cream, Adult Fruit Punch, and Adult Limeade.
It's only available in the West right now, but according to Rick at CocktailGoGo, people all over the country will eventually be able to have adult chocolate milk mustaches:
...it's being distributed by Southern Wine & Spirits which means it's going to be just about everywhere. Let no man go without his Adult Chocolate Milk!
You can get a 750ml for $17.99 or a 1L for $19.99 and it's being sold in the West first and rolling out to other states later on.
Plus, if you absolutely can't wait, head to HiTimeWine for 750ML and 1LT bottles.
Don't look now, but we got a bottle of Vodgria, a sangria-flavored vodka, in the mail for review today. For those of you who've been living under a rock, sangria is a wine punch that is usually fortified with a little of the hard stuff, usually brand, triple sec, or vodka.
Vodgria cuts out the middle man of actually having to mix up sangria for yourself, and coming in at 30 proof (15% ABV) it will pack a similar punch. It looks like it's going to be gunning for the same market as brands like Hpnotiq, Alize, and Nuvo, and is the only sangria-flavored vodka around. Vodgria retails for under $13; we'll do a full tasting and get it posted ASAP.
So we're finally back from Las Vegas, and the hangover has mostly subsided enough to talk about some of our experiences there. For those of you who don't know, we went out to Sin City for the Harlem Shot Drink Showcase. For those of you who don't know what Harlem is, it's a new herbal liqueur we never got a chance to try until we were actually in Vegas (not that it took much convincing to get us out there anyway). For those of you who don't know what a shot drink is - there's not much we can do to help you.
Keep reading for our quick review of Harlem itself, a brief description of our time in Vegas, and our thoughts on the "2 ounce cocktails" we tried at the showcase itself. Oh, and for those of you laughing at the quality of the picture on this post - you try snapping a good shot on an iPhone, in the dark, after sampling 13 or 14 shots.
We don't usually pay much attention to drinks of the "Bachelorette Party" variety (unless we're looking to get Girl Drink Drunk that is, which isn't often). Even with its flair-y nature, however, something about this video appealed to our What Does it All Mean? nature, and we figured we'd post.
Check out this short clip of a bartender pouring nine differently-colored shots from one shaker, and when you're finished scratching your head find out how it's done, hit the jump for the explanation. We feel like that guy from Magician's Secrets Revealed...hope the International League of Drunks doesn't repeal our membership over this.
The folks at Hiram Walker sent us a bottle of their Original Cinn cinnamon schnapps this week, and we have to say we're tempted. Our initial sip gave us a much mellower, softer cinnamon flavor than the "atomic hot ball" vibe we've gotten from other products, and we can see it as much more of a cocktail ingredient than a "DUDE LET'S DO SHOTS." Anybody have ideas for cocktails to mix with a cinnamon base - we're thinking we have to do something apple (in honor of fall and apple pie, as well as a play on the name) but that's as far as we've gotten.
We liked how Original Cinn came with a "pride" tag attached to the neck of the bottle, and it was accompanied by the six other cardinal sins, from gluttony to sloth (our pic didn't come out well so check out this one).
As for the Cinn itself, it comes in at 90 proof and ten bucks for a 750ML bottle, which is much more reasonable than certain cinnamon drinks with bits of gold in them. We're fans of the Walker brand for being reasonably priced and good alternatives to spendier brands - if you're not familiar, learn more about them at the Hiram Walker website.
This video, from the dudes who made Mystery Team, explains that the drunk dial is not as new a phenomenon as you might have thought. At least you don't have to learn Morse Code to say something embarrassing...