September 21, 2006

Bartender Etiquette for Dummies

What did you say?We're all about trying to help you out when you're drinking, and drinking in a bar is where you have the biggest chance to make your faux pas (or is that faux pases? how about just "screw up?). Back in April we told you about 5 drinks bartenders hate to make, because they're too complex or irritating when they've got people lined up 8 deep waiting to be served.

Numbered lists are always fun, and we've found some other great advice from one Jeffery Morgenthaler, who touts himself as a "master mixologist and weblogger" from out in Oregon. Plus, he's actually a bartender, not just a professional drunk like us, so you can take his advice to heart.

Eight Things You Should Never Say to Your Bartender

I had a hard night the other night, and I thought I should impart some of my worldly wisdom to the bar-going public out there. Here are some of your bartender’s least favorite things to hear when you’re sitting at their bar. Read carefully!
From asking them what you should have to suggesting they make your drink strong, Jeffrey is full of great advice for not pissing off the person you rely on for booze.

Seven Things You Should Never Catch Your Bartender Doing

I’ve worked in a lot of bars, and I’ve been on the other side more times than I’m proud of mentioning. Long story short, I’ve seen a lot of shitty bartenders in my day and I feel there are certain things that you, the customer, have a right to demand of your bar staff.
If you see your bartender putting his hand in your drink or lighting something on fire, you might want to find yourself another bar.

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September 19, 2006

Drink Liquor, Make More Money

We Drink and We're Rich!Freakin' finally. We've got validation of our deepest hopes, dreams and wishes. They're saying you can make more money if you're a drinker? We're waiting for our Brinks truck of money to show up any time.

Alcohol drinkers earn 10 percent to 14 percent more than nondrinkers, according to a study. Authors' theories: 1) Drinking helps you "socialize more with clients and co-workers, giving drinkers an advantage in important relationships." 2) Drinking "may also provide individuals with opportunities to learn people, business, and social skills."
Read more at Slate; thanks for the tip, Jason

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August 31, 2006

Beerfest Update: You Should Still See It

Beefest PosterHere's a little shout out to all you turd burglars out there who haven't seen Beerfest yet - YOU SUCK AT LIFE. Yeah, we know earlier this week we yelled at you for not having seen it yet, then sheepishly admitted we hadn't made it either. We have now remedied that situation.

We went to a 10:20 showing last night and cried with laughter. It didn't start off with the bang Supertroopers had, but once it got rolling it was just as damned funny in a lot of places.

It was like "holy crap I just split my pants" funny. Like "I've been shitting pancakes" funny. Like "Get out and see it this weekend and keep it in theaters" funny. If you haven't seen it yet get your furry little palms on the steering wheel of your car and drive to the theater. If you've already seen it - do the same thing. That is all.

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August 29, 2006

Go See Beerfest NOW

Beefest PosterYou haven't seen Beefest yet? How dare you! If you read this site, you're the target market and you haven't dragged your moldy ass to the theater yet? For shame!

OK, so we have a confession to make...we haven't seen Beerfest yet either and we feel horrible about it. Super Troopers is high on our list of favorite movies and we've been pumped up to see it, but we haven't made it. The thing is, every review (or every review we pay attention to) has said it's fantastic, and all the other ones have been shocked and appalled. Sounds like a recipe for awesomeness.

The Broken Lizard dudes, understanding the flick hasn't made as much money as it should, have released a list of things you can do (other than seeing the flick yourself seven or eight times) to help them out. Our favorite is "When a telemarketer calls you, instead of them selling you something, you sell them on BEERFEST." Read on for their entire open letter, and if you need more encouragement head on over to

ArrowContinue reading: "Go See Beerfest NOW"

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August 24, 2006

Is it Friday Yet?

Days of the WeekThere are some weeks that are so hellacious - so face smashingly evil - you constantly find yourself asking Is It Friday? Just check out the website and you'll never be confused.

If the big picture isn't your thing, maybe you want to know if it's beer o'clock on a more granular level. If so, you'll want to check out Is It 5:30?

Don't say we never gave you anything - now you'll constantly know at any given time whether you can have a drink without society's pillars looking down their noses at you. Or, you could do what we do and just drink all day every day. Your call.

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August 17, 2006

Preparing an Irish Wake

Irish WakeWe usually like to keep things on the lighter side, but if you've noticed our posts have been sparse lately it's because we've lost someone very special to us. She was a beautiful lady with a huge heart, a great teacher, a loving mother who let our less-than-reputable Editor in Chief marry her youngest daughter.

She was also Irish American, and we want to remember her by letting you know about real Irish wakes and how to hold one.

The Irish have always loved a good party and the wake, like any other gathering in the community, became an occasion to share food and drink, have music and dancing and to enjoy some physical games. At various times in the past there were efforts by Church officials to discourage the raucous events but they were generally unsuccessful.
via AllAboutIrish

You can also read a full list of steps for how to hold an Irish wake from Roots Web, and remember - go ahead and mourn the death, but don't forget to celebrate the life.

In Memoriam - We love you Maureen, and don't worry...we'll take care of the ones you've left behind.

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August 11, 2006

1,000 Ways to Open a Beer Video

We don't think they quite get up to 1,000 ways to open a beer bottle in this minute-plus video, but you start to see the general themes. They open beers on everything from baseball caps to skis to phone books (pictured) and they give the general impression they're someone you'd like to have over at a party. Go team. The last method is interesting, but looks potentially painful and damaging.

Check out the video at YouTube for future reference and let us know if you give it a try.

Jake Jamieson at Permalink | Comments (0) | social bookmarking

August 9, 2006

Factotum: All About Bukowski

FactotumWe've been schoolgirl giddy ever since we heard the Bukowski flick Factotum was coming out, and we had to change our jumpers when we found out Matt Dillon was playing him. Sounds like it's more than just a booze-soaked blast, too - it's getting crazy good reviews everywhere we turn.

It comes out relatively soon (August 18 in NY & LA if we remember correctly, lucky bastards) and it's going to be more than worth seeing. We were going to recommend you use the Beerbelly to smuggle beers into the theater, but we'll go one better - go fully Bukowski and head for the theater with a full bottle of whiskey in your real belly.

Check out the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes (95% Fresh when we checked) and you can also find the trailer at

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July 14, 2006

Advice: Wear Nice Pants For When You Pass Out

Passed OutThis one's specifically for the ladies, from a British Police Department, but there are parts both sexes should pay attention to - like the part about the wax.

The article in Safe! magazine, distributed by police in Martlesham Heath, is a tongue-in-cheek attempt to advise women to exercise safe behavior when drinking, The Telegraph reported Thursday.

"If you fall over or pass out, remember your skirt or dress may ride up. You could show off more than you intended -- for all our sakes, please make sure you're wearing nice pants and that you've recently had a wax," the article reads. "Better still, eat before you go out, think about how much you're drinking, pace yourself and drink plenty of water in between bevvies or better still, don't get in this sorry state -- it's not nice."

via United Press International

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July 12, 2006

Sharper Image Reaches Breathalyzer Deal

Breathalyzer CopWe've always been big proponents of breathalyzers because they can give you a little bit of information about your BAC before you get behind the wheel. However, Sharper Image just had to pay over a million bucks in a settlement because their breathalyzers weren't quite as accurate as they claimed.

That's not saying pocket breathalyzers aren't useful - just take them with a grain of salt. Our old rule of thumb - use a pocket breathalyzer before getting behind the wheel. Our new rule of thumb - if we think we need a breathalyzer, we shouldn't be getting behind the wheel anyway. Why? Because the cops have breathalyzers that are VERY accurate.

Electronics retailer Sharper Image agreed on Friday to stop selling personal breathalyzers and pay $1.2 million in restitution as part of a settlement regarding the devices.
The company incorrectly claimed the "Digital Breath Alcohol Tester" devices were accurate to .001 percent blood alcohol content, according to tests by San Diego’s Consumer Protection Unit.
via Boston Herald

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