November 30, 2006

Rules for the Savvy Drinker

Savvy Drinker in Stupid HatAs an outsider you might think drinkers (or drinkists, as we like to call ourselves) follow no rules. After all, the typical drinker lives outside the rules, shunning the uptight rules laid down by the uptight few. There is an element of that, but there are some rules you have to follow if you want to exist in the subculture, both to ensure your safety and your ability to exist in a bar without being laughed out of it.

We've found a list of Rules of Drinking over at Esquire that we thought fit the bill pretty well. The ones that stood out for us included the following, but head on over to their site for a whole bunch more:

#1 - There is no such thing as a chocolate martini.

#22 - Jack Daniel's. Rocks.

#28 - No one but the bouncer cares how tough you are, and he already knows you're not that tough.

#53 - If you're the first in a group to arrive and you start a tab on your card, you deserve exactly what's coming to you.

#63 - Two singles are better than one double.

Jake Jamieson at Permalink | Comments (0) | social bookmarking

November 22, 2006

Liquor Snob Says "Bring on the Turkey"

Drinkin' WhiskeyAs we spend this week performing our stomach stretches to prepare for Thanksgiving, we're going to leave you with one of our favorite posts from last year around this time. We don't usually do the self-referential meta post BS because we think it's lazy, but we really liked this one...and we're feeling lazy.

Plus we think it's still good advice, even a year later. You can learn how to make it through the holidays, deal with your crazy family, and tie one on all at the same time. So, with no further ado, we bring you Make Thanksgiving Wild Turkey Day

Aaah, Thanksgiving - the beginning of the holiday season. A time to be with the people you love and give thanks for everything you have. Like long airport lines, snarled highway traffic, relatives you only see once a year...for good reason. And don't forget those long, awkward silences when you tell people you've been spending all your time writing about liquor on the Internet. Oh, wait. Maybe that's just us.

Jake Jamieson at Permalink | Comments (0) | social bookmarking

November 16, 2006

Liquor Snob Holiday Gift Guide 2006

liquor_snob_blogad_gg.jpgThe holidays are coming, and it's time to stop thinking about your quest for the eternal buzz long enough to love your fellow humans long enough to get them drunk. That's why we've put together our recommendations for our favorite holiday gifts for the boozer in your life.

Whether they're a classy Scotch enthusiast in need of the right glass or a college-age binge drinker who totally wants a beer pong table, we've got exactly what you need to give them a holiday season to remember...until they black it out.

Find our recommendations after the jump and don't forget to keep checking back - we'll add more items as the holidays approach.

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Jake Jamieson at Permalink | Comments (3) | social bookmarking

November 15, 2006

Martini Advice from a Real Bartender

Big Ol' MartiniFor a drink that everyone professes to love so much, there's a lot of confusion and just plain myths that center around the martini. From choosing whether to make it with vodka or gin to deciding exactly how much vermouth belongs in there (consensus seems to say 1-2 molecules), everyone seems to have their own snooty way of mixing one.

We've found a great Q&A from Jeffrey Morganthaler, a pro bartender, centered around martini myths and how you can craft the perfect frosty beverage. We also like the fact he seems to share our sentiment that if you don't put any vermouth in your martini, it's just a shot of gin with an olive floating in it. Same goes for your typical "vodka martini."

As an aside, please note that it’s not possible to “bruise” gin. This is just a bullshit myth perpetuated by Martini “connoisseurs” who want to impress you with their “knowledge” and “sophistication”. It’s a meaningless term, trust me. However, they’re right about not shaking a martini - they just don’t get why.
via Jeffrey Morganthaler - Ask Your Bartender: Martini Advice

Jake Jamieson at Permalink | Comments (0) | social bookmarking

November 14, 2006

10 Ways to Upgrade Your Beer

Classy DrinkerWe know how much you like beer. You drink it all the time, every chance you get, in fact. But sometimes you're taken out of your comfort zone (your couch or the neighborhood bar) and you have to class up your drinking, or at least quit crushing cans on your head for a night. We found a Maxim article that offers a whole bunch of ways you can class up your brew.

Some of them we've covered, like the Black Velvet and the Michelada, but there are a few we've yet to try, like Yorsh and Caribbean Nights. They even tell you the best place to enjoy each beer cocktail, from camping to the theater. All we know is keep us away from those Boilermakers.

We're not asking you to wear a bowtie and spats to the office or close your eyes when you kiss a woman, but for chrissake show a little class when drinking your beer. Here are 10 simple ways to dress up a brewski for the ball, or a six-pack for a Senatorial hearing.
Maxim - Top 10 Ways to Make Beer Better

Jake Jamieson at Permalink | Comments (0) | social bookmarking

November 13, 2006

How to Avoid a Hangover - Urban Monarch

Hung OverAbout a year ago we posted a story about how to beat a hangover, but with the holidays coming it's never a bad idea to get a refresher. We've been mucking around over on the Urban Monarch site quite a bit lately and found this batch o' helpful tips on ways to minimize your chances of getting a hangover - or at least how to avoid a truly evil one.

There's a ton of great advice, including the reason you shouldn't take an analgesic (read: Tylenol) before you go to bed, and we especially liked one commenter's advice to order a water with every drink and avoid going back to the bar until both are gone. Wise words.

From the complex aroma and warm tingle of the first sip of a good scotch to the blue collar fun of downing Pabst Blue Ribbon in some dingy dive bar, boozing is a treat. I’d like to believe the fact I haven’t had a hangover in the last two years is a testament to my fortitude and olympic training in the imbibing arts. More likely though, it’s thanks to some rules I *try* to follow when drinking.
Urban Monarch - preventing hangovers

Jake Jamieson at Permalink | Comments (0) | social bookmarking

October 17, 2006

TWI: Tweezing While Intoxicated

Get Your Tweeze OnWhen you first think about it, drinking and tweezing don't really go hand in hand. But on further reflection, you have to admit it makes sense to take a little something for courage before you jam a piece of sharp metal into your face and start ripping our ingrown hairs. Not only that, but as Russell over at Shaving Stuff recommends in his post about the Tweezerman, you can use the booze to disinfect your tweezers as well.

You'll want to use the liquor in three stages: before tweezing for courage, during tweezing for sterilization, and after tweezing to complement your barbaric yawp of conquest. We recommend something that tastes icky enough to distract you from your gruesome task before you start, like Screech Rum for example. After that, go for something that will make you feel manly, like Bourbon or Scotch, to offset your babyish weeping.

Jake Jamieson at Permalink | Comments (0) | social bookmarking

October 16, 2006

(Mostly) Booze-Related Blogs We Read Every Day

Drinking and ReadingEver noticed how drinking booze inflates someone's self-importance and makes them feel like they're the center of the universe? That's how we feel every day, and our Editor in Chief in particular spends his time strutting around like a peacock and quoting himself out loud. We can't spend all of our time reading our own website, however, as much as we'd like to. So, we've rounded up a list of our booze-related required reading so you can check them out and remember why you love us best. Did we really say that? Scandalous!

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Jake Jamieson at Permalink | Comments (3) | social bookmarking

October 13, 2006

Need a Happy Hour? Get Unthirsty

Happy Hours in Portlan, ORSo we got an email about this new happy hour mapping site a couple days ago, and promptly forgot about it in our stupor. When we woke up from the bender we read about this site, called Unthirsty, and found out they used the Google Maps feature to let people map out Happy Hours in their town. Needless to say, we were excited.

Then we found out that all sorts of folks had already discovered it while we were in our cups, and they were featuring it on their sites. We also found out there were other sites that offered something similar, and each kidn of focuses on its own region. Since we're patently lazy, we'll let the other sites do the heavy lifting:

Dethroner: Nine Bar-Mapping Sites: Happy Hours, Ratings, and Beer

Days That End In "Y": Find That Happy Hour!

Digg: Google Maps + Happy Hour

Jake Jamieson at Permalink | Comments (0) | social bookmarking

September 22, 2006

How to Make Yourself Throw Up

Driving the Porcelain BusEverybody knows they should drink responsibly, but sometimes you make a bad decision. A few too many shots, a couple extra mixed drinks, and suddenly things aren't looking as celebratory as they were a few minutes ago. There comes a point when liquor acts more like a poison than the fun fuel it usually is. That's when it's helpful to know how to safely pull your own trigger...we don't recommend doing it often, but it's a good skill to know if you're in the company of a skillful amateur drinker who accidentally ends up with a big league amount of booze in their gullet.

We found a few good tips for effectively and safely making yourself throw up at WkiHow, including drinking a bunch of water to dilute your stomach contents and the importance of brushing your teeth afterward. That's not just to get the taste out of your mouth but to keep your stomach acid from softening the enamel on your teeth (ewwww). And remember, we're not giving you this information so you can become a booze bulimic...this is something you should only do when it's really necessary. Believe'll know when the moment arrives.

Jake Jamieson at Permalink | Comments (4) | social bookmarking

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