Bottle Throttle for Shotgunning Arrives for Review
During our long and storied career here at Liquor Snob, we've dedicated some serious time to technology dedicated to filling you up with beer really, really quickly. From the Bottle Blaster to the Shotgun Key, from Flabongo to Bongxedo, we've done considerable damage to our collective livers in the pursuit of the best way to shotgun beer.
A gentleman from Calgary claims our search is over. Clint Franklin, creator of the Bottle Throttle, claims his doodad is better than all those other doodads out there. Does the Bottle Throttle get you from zero to twelve ounces as quickly as he claims (averaging about three seconds)? There's only one way to find out...testing, testing, testing. And he sent us two for racing purposes!
You can pick up your own Throttle for about ten bucks; we'll hit you with a full review once we've put it through its paces.
Craft brewers rejoice at the CarboPouch. This little doo-hickey is designed to let smaller shops sell their beers onsite without having to buy all kinds of bottling equipment. Maybe in the future you'll get these instead of growlers at your local brewery. We know we'd use them...they're kind of like Go-Gurt for grownups.
Our friends over at Brew Dudes have gone all Web 4.0, and are going to share the brew log of their first all-grain beer brewing exercise, Chelmsford Pale Ale. We're talking pictures, descriptions, video, feats of strength, and poetry readings. Or maybe only some of that...we'll see how things shake out.
Anyway, we'll be waiting with bated breath to see how it all comes out, and c'mon...this is your chance to see a little piece of Web history. Get in while the getting's good! It's only a placeholder right now, but head on over there and feel the anticipation in the air.
In these down economic times, we're all looking for a way to throw away money. Wait...that doesn't sound right. Let's try that again.
In these down economic times, we're all looking for a way to spend twenty or thirty bucks on a contraption designed mainly to waste beer. No, that still doesn't sound right. Third try is a charm.
Hey everyone, check out this crazy beer squirt gun! It costs twenty bucks ($30 if you throw in the holster) and according to their video it's designed to squirt beer in your friends' ears! Sticky, annoying, AND expensive!
Screw it. Here's a video of the thing in action. It's got a girl in it.
Update: Even if you're not into buying this to do the equivalent of shaking up a beer and pouring it out, on rewatching the video we noticed it's got a bottle opener on it. Value!
With things being what they are, nobody needs an excuse to drown their sorrows. All you have to do is look at your bank statement, maybe your stock portfolio, and suddenly it's beer:30. What better way to laugh at your losses than with a recession-themed pint glass?
St. Patrick's Day is coming, and if you're in NYC it looks like it's going to be a looong three days. Anyone who goes to this, make sure you let us know how it was. We'll be huddled in our house nursing a bottle of Jameson's and trying to avoid crowds at all costs, but that's because we're curmudgeons like that.
St. Patrick's Day is coming, and what better way to pronounce that you're a complete feckin' amateur Irishman than by wearing a sweatshirt that says "Dublin' Your Pleasure"? HOWEVER, this hoodie does redeem itself by including, in addition to a standard kangaroo pocket, a pocket specifically to hold your beer. This is great because it will leave your hands free to hold your other two beers.
Generally, we rail against any kind of chicanery that creates less beer in your glass, especially when it's in the form of falsies or other trickery. However, the Hopside Down glass doesn't try to trick you out of beer - it's right there, floating upside down, advertising less beer in the glass. But we bet it looks pretty cool when it's doing it. We'd love to get our hands on one of these and see how complete the illusion is.
Plus, even though there's less beer in the glass, we bet the hopsidedownness insulates the beer from the heat coming off that Hand of Doom of yours.
Pint-Sized Ireland: In Search of the Perfect Guinness
We don't spend a lot of time reading travelogues, mostly because we don't want to see page after page of some dude having the time of his life while we're stuck here with the Interns. However, we've got a friend who's heading out to Ireland in April, and we think this might just be right up his alley. From what we've read, it makes for a funny read and a nice little guidebook while obsessively searching for the perfect Guinness.
Though with this particular fella, maybe someone should write a book called "Ireland Straight Up: In Search of the Perfect Middleton." Hell, maybe he'll just write it while he's there.
We're pretty sure by now you've seen those Heineken beer kegs in pretty much every store from here to Amsterdam. If you've had the hankering to give them a try but were waiting for the perfect opportunity, here's your chance. Pick up the Heineken Beertender, stick one of those little mini-keggy-things in there, and drink up. Hey, after a couple of 'em it'll end up cheaper than going out, so that's great as long as you really like Heineken.
We can't tell you how many times we've thrown our hands in the air over the prospect of paying retail for a beer pong table. It's something that has to come up, like, twice a day. "I'd love a new beer pong table, but I can't justify paying retail!" That's where Beer Pong Coupons comes in - right now they've got discounts of up to $35 off portable beirut tables. So what're you waiting for?
MGD 64 Has Faint Beerish Taste, Consumer Reports Reveals
We understand the urge to reduce the calories in beer. We really do. No one wants to end up looking like Peter Griffin just because he likes to have a few sudsy cold ones every day, but can we keep it reasonable? Most light beers taste like someone emptied a beer bottle and filled it with cold water - do we really have to remove any more flavor?
Apparently, we do. Consumer Reports will be featuring blind taste tests of two types of beer in its February 2009 issue - two low calorie beers from Miller (MGD 64 and Miller Lite) and two chelada-like lime beers (Bud Light Lime and Miller Chill). We don't want to spoil it for you, but when Miller Lite is considered to be the "more complex and heavier-bodied" of two beers, we're all going to hell in a handbasket.
As for the lime beers, we won't color your opinions with our own (unless you're chelada curious), but apparently the lime flavor masks any actual beeriness. On the bright side, maybe they'll be the Bartles & James or Bacardi Breezers for a whole new generation of high school kids who hate the taste of beer.
Welcome to our first post of the year - go team 2009! Our first post focuses on the Can Grip, a snazzy little competitor for the koozie that will turn any beer (or soda, we suppose) can into a mobile stein. Not only does it eliminate the need for a can coaster because of the solid plastic base, it also helps keep your can cooler. How, you ask? Because at the rate of speed you drink beer it's not external temperature that's warming your beer, it's the warmth radiating from that monkey paw you call a hand. Less hand equals less heat.
If you ask us, the only way the Koozie beats these things is that you can hide the fact you're drinking something narsty like Bud Light. Just think of it as the Can Grip keeping you honest. Pick them up for around four bucks apiece (check for retailers through the Can Grip site) or buy 'em wholesale and get your own custom message added to the handle.
Bottle Throttle for Shotgunning Arrives for Review
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