A bottle opener in house key form. This is one of those ideas so simple, you sort of wonder why no one's done it before. Or, maybe they have and we just never heard about it. OR, maybe they have and the government suppressed the idea to keep people buying twist-offs instead of bar bottles. OR...no, we're done.
Anyway, the brutal simplicity of a beer bottle opener you can slide in amongst your keys is blinding as the sun.
We never made any secret of our love for Buzzard's Bay Brewing in Westport, MA (we've visited them a few times now), but that was just based on their beer. Now the Buzzards have given us a good chuckle (and something to think about when we head to Mass) in an email we received from them this morning. For those who haven't heard, Massachusetts will start taxing beer (which was previously un-taxed) at a rate of 6.25%, beginning this Saturday (more at Boston Globe), and Buzzards Bay has a fun way to thumb their nose at the prospect, which we've included below.
To mark this lugubrious occassion, Buzzards Bay says, "THIS SATURDAY...declare yourself!"
We will offer a growler re-fill at $6.99 ($6.58 plus $0.41 tax) for anyone who states, "This new sales tax bites my Buzzard." (or use your own colorful metaphor).
For those who like the new sales tax (and I know there are quite a few who voiced anger at my anti-tax emails), please simply stay quiet or say "I LOVE NEW TAXES!" and you will be levied a fee of $8.50 ($8.00 plus $0.50 tax) for your growler re-fill.
LET ME REPEAT! State clearly, "Taxation with representation ain't so hot either...I hate this new tax" and pay $6.99 on your RE-FILL. Choose to say nothing or state, "I LOVE TAXES; they are dues that we pay for the privileges of membership in an organized society!" and fork over $8.50 for your RE-FILL.
OH! And if you are a State Rep or Senator? Please present your I.D. and we'll offer you a special price of $20 ($18.83 plus $1.17 tax) for a grower re-fill. Gov. Deval Patrick? We'll honor this same price for our Governor (and his staff) as well.
Looks like you're in luck if you can make it to Westport on Saturday. More about Buzzard's Bay Brewing at BuzzardsBrew.com.
We hadn't heard of Australia's Uber Bar Tools before we got an email about them, but the more we read about them, the more we're glad they're on our radar now. These are high end accessories aimed at folks who aspire to more than whipping up a batch of margaritas for friends - from what we can tell they're for professional bartenders and folks who actually deserve to be called "mixologists."
Uber's bar tools got a complimentary review from Colleen Graham at About Cocktails, and she says they're pretty great - assuming you can afford them. And even though we probably don't deserve 'em, rumor has it we've got some on the way to our offices for us to put through their paces. Don't worry - we'll be showered and (mostly) sober when we review them.
For those of you familiar with Square One Organic Vodka (and those who aren't, of course), the company just released a new organic spirit called Square One Botanical. According to the website, it's a "bold organic rye spirit, infused with a striking blend of 8 organic botanicals - pear, rose, chamomile, lemon verbena, lavender, rosemary, coriander and citrus peel." Sounds like a nice new organic gin to us, but they never actually use the term, so we guess we won't.
We're very much intrigued by the mix of botanicals in there, and we like the feeling of drinking organic booze, so we're sure we'll pick up a bottle ASAP.
Legend has it that Tub Gin started out being made in a bath tub. Legend continues that said bath tub was shot by Tub Gin's creators, which was tragic (though they were able to save the gin). The moral? Drink and shoot responsibly.
On a slightly different note, Tub Gin clocks in at almost $35 a bottle, and rumor has it it's a good bit smoother than its rough and tumble backstory. Decide for yourself, and visit TubGin.com.
Some days, we think there is majesty in a hangover. It's the punctuation at the end of a bender, the price you pay for the good times, and a natural part of the circle of life. Then, there are other days...the days when we actually have a hangover. On those days, in between screaming oaths to Jebus that we'll never drink again if he'll only take the pain away, we wish for a pill that could magically make it all better.
The latest panacea on which we're hanging our hats is Pretoxx, a pill you take before you drink to minimize the impact of your decisions. We've tried items like Chasers before with mixed results, but Pretoxx has a few things going for it: a time-release formula so you don't have to keep taking it as you drink, a slew of 5 star reviews on Amazon, and a money-back guarantee. We're sold.
We've got 60 of these little silver bullets in our possession, and we'll be putting the pills through their paces in the coming weeks. We'll let you know (scientifically of course) how they work.
It's been a while since we've delved into a bottle of Beefeater Gin, but we remember it as a smooth and drinkable addition to a gin & tonic or a martini. We'll let you know what we think of this bottle sitting in our sweaty little palms as soon as we can do a full review, but we can tell you one thing from just unscrewing the cap and taking a whiff - there's a reason this stuff sits on the shelf of almost every bar. At a resounding 94 proof it'll give you plenty of bang for your buck, but it's a good dry gin full of herbs and smoothness. We'll give you our full thoughts soon enough, but for now, head on over to Beefeater Gin for more info.
Our more perceptive readers have probably gleaned by now that we're fans of Red Stag from Jim Beam. If you've been following the brand at all, you also probably know Red Stag is sponsoring Kid Rock for his latest tour. What you may not know is that there's currently a sweepstakes running where you can win a weekend in Vegas with the aforementioned Mr. Rock, or some other pretty sweet prizes.
We don't often cover sweepstakes (or "sweeps" as the kids may or may not call them) but this one tickled our fancy. A weekend in Vegas with Kid Rock? Sounds like the premise for The Hangover 2. Or maybe Joe Dirt 2. Either way...awesome. Here's the pitch:
Enter now for your chance to win a trip of a life time for you and three friends to Las Vegas to attend a private Kid Rock concert - plus other amazing prizes including signed display guitars, T-shirts and downloads.
Great! Just what we need is another iPhone app aimed at getting us drunk. We realize that might come across sounding sarcastic, but we really mean it. There aren't enough electronic ways to get us drunk. The latest is the Drinkspiration from Absolut - 400 drink recipes, and no...they're not all for vodka-based drinks.
Try vodka, gin, rum, brandy, whisky, and tequila-based cocktail recipes, depending on your mood, location, popularity, color, and time of day. We like the GPS function too, where you can check out what people are drinking based on location...a little big-brothery but why wouldn't you want to share what you're drinking?
Check out the video below, and download the app at iTunes.
We're not exactly sure why we're including this as a Physical Challenge, because we don't recommend anyone do it unless they are A) a member of or B) a roadie for Cephalic Carnage, the band that came up with it, according to Drunkist...apparently they read the whole article that went with the video. Oh well, we're not the types to get weededed anyway. And another thing...wait, man...what were we saying?
Anyway, just get out your vaporizers and crackers or whatever and watch the video. It's pretty intense...like The Strikeout from Beerfest if you got mystically transported into a Cannibal Corpse album. On a side note, is it just us or does Weed Vodka sound like it would taste like Satan's bunghole?
Welcome to our fully full-on review of the Bottle Throttle, our latest gadget designed to get beer into us at the speed of light. We were excited (and a bit nervous) to try it after its creator told us of its 2-3 second delivery time, and when we couldn't browbeat any of the interns into stepping up to the plate, our fearless leader himself was the first to try it.
That's right - Editor in Chief vs Bottle Throttle in a fight to the drunk.
We're not sure who Brooke Marks is, but she has come up with what might be our favorite drinking game ever. Not only does it involve open gaping at Victoria's Secret catalogs in mixed company, the rules are pretty clever too - though most of them seem to involve how Adriana Lima looks like she killed your dog. To be honest, based on where we're looking in the VS catalog, we would have been hard pressed to tell you Adriana Lima even has a face.
We're not sure if you could actually ride a bike wearing the Dolores Chiller from Timbuk2, but this messenger bag cooler is sharp-enough looking to make us want to try. Important features include the insulated interior, the included metal bottle opener, the ballistic nylon construction, and the waterproof lining. Oh, and the space - there's enough room in here for you to shove in at least a twelve pack with ice. We think we're in love, even though the price tag is just north of a C-note.
We got a package in the mail yesterday that should have had booze in it. It said Knob Creek on the side, and that usually means we're going to be able to whet our whistles. But no. It contained a T-shirt that said "I Survived the Drought of '09" and a letter that started with "Thanks for nothing."
Yeah, exactly. Thanks for nothing to whichever one of you bastards who drank more than your share, because there's apparently no Knob Creek left for the year. Well, they're not exactly out, but they're expecting to run low this year because they didn't put enough whiskey aside for this year and demand has been higher than expected.
Some may think it's more marketing nudge than dire shortage, but we say if you're a big Knob Creek lover you may want to go lay some aside while the getting's good, just to be on the safe side.
Our focus this month has really been on the Three Penny Taproom. Like, to the exclusion of posting to this site. Their beer...it's just so good when it touches our lips, you know? And then when we're full of beer we lose the motivation to write. We just want more beer. It's a vicious cycle. But it includes beer. So that's OK with us.
Don't worry. We'll get back on track now that the hazy, lazy days of summer will make it too hot to trek all the way to the bar. We think so, anyway. While we're drying out, check out what we found for you during the lovely month of June!