August 15, 2008

Bierstick Review: My Beer is Bigger than Yours

IMG_1387.JPG"There's no freaking way I'm drinking beer out of that."

You'd be surprised how often we hear those words or some variation in our line of work. It's not like we ask our friends, family, and interns to drink beer out of human skulls or anything, but sometimes people are afraid of what they don't understand. That was the reaction last weekend when we pulled out the Bierstick at a barbecue to try to get some other folks to try it out.

They were nervous about the syringe-y ness of it, they were reluctant to drink beer out of something that looked like it would jet beer directly at their gag button, and some of the guys balked at the phallus-like shape. But of course, that was before people started drinking. We're not sure if you know this, but copious amounts of beer tends to lower people's inhibitions. Read on to find out how our extensive testing of the Bierstick went.

The Tests
Test Subject 101, Attempt 1: This male was extremely nervous about drinking out of what he called the "beerdick." Once he was full of Miller High Life, the Champagne of Bierstick ammunition, however, he proved more tractable. He called for the device to be filled with two beers, but ignored our advice to hold the blue mouthpiece on securely when he pushed the plunger. He ended up wearing both beers instead of drinking them.

Test Subject 101, Attempt 2: On his second attempt, this subject decided to pull back to one beer, and does everything technically correctly. He pulls the beer in less than five seconds, burps, and goes right back to making dick jokes. Progress has been made, however, as the rest of the test subjects are now interested.

Test Subject 102, Attempt 1: This subject takes the Bierstick with some serious swagger, and kills a single beer in about two seconds. Impressed noises are made by the other prospective testers.

Test Subject 103, Attempt 1: This subject, the only female to attempt the Bierstick, draws a crowd of onlookers. She crushes a beer in seconds flat, and doesn't even have to burp afterward. She is held in very high esteem by the other testers.

The Verdict: We won't bore you with the details of all the testing we did that evening, but let's say we definitely put the Bierstick through its paces...and we'll post our videos if we can figure out how to get them off the camera. Our subjects found the device strangely alluring once the initial nervousness faded, and they were all impressed with its performance. It is well-made and durable, and we had no technical malfunctions that weren't user-generated.

The consensus from our testers was that at first it was a very different experience from funneling or shotgunning a beer, but once you got used to it it was almost a hybrid of the two. It was fast, easy, and fun once you got the hang of it. As we polled each tester, they agreed that the device was worth every penny of the twenty bucks it cost, if only for the novelty of it.

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Posted by Jake Jamieson at August 15, 2008 8:14 AM
Recent Comments

if you use it right, the cap doesnt pop off. i juist recently brought it from my home to college and it is a hit. everybody loves it.

Posted by: Woollard at February 23, 2010 11:00 AM

this thing is pathetic, honestly I had one until it exploded about 15 times on me and my friends because if the removable cap. It would be a good idea if it wasn't made so poorly.

Posted by: steve at December 14, 2008 12:54 AM

Haha the bier stick sounds amazing. Nice write up.

Posted by: Gareth at August 25, 2008 9:33 PM
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