March 14, 2008

Manly Drinks for a Manly Holiday

steak.gifSorry for the radio silence yesterday, kids - chalk it up to wisdom teeth removal. We got a piece of news today that fills our hearts with mixed emotions - gladness because this holiday exists, sadness because we can't participate for numerous reasons...the biggest being the fact we can't eat steak unless we put it in a blender.

What the hell are we talking about, you ask? Oh - it's Steak & BJ Day - the Valentine's Day for men exactly one month after the one in February. It's not a new idea - we have friends who created a similar holiday that lands in August, six months after V-Day. Of course, the benefit of S&BJ Day is that it's today. Celebrate it, kids. Celebrate it.

Of course, none of this has anything to do with drinking, so we've done a little roundup of manly drinks you can enjoy whilst slinging your meat. First, we put together a nice little list of manly drinks last November, or if you're looking for tips with that Modern Drunkard spin, read on below.

The first factor is the drink's appearance. Color and container. This will determine how your drink looks from across the room. A rocks glass looks great. So can a martini glass. But unless you're in a Tiki bar, you don't want to be the guy drinking out of a novelty glass with a kooky straw. And the color of your drink is perhaps even more important. There are really only two acceptable colors. Clear and brown. Clear could be vodka or gin. Brown could be bourbon or whiskey. Green and blue are probably colors you don't want to run up the flagpole. Here's a simple little rhyme that may help: If it's brown, suck it down, if it's pink, don't you drink.

The second factor to take into consideration is the drink's name. Because inevitably, someone is going to hear you order it, even if it's just the bartender. I don't care if your drink is a mixture of bourbon, bitters and Tabasco sauce; if it's called a Fuzzy Slipper it's not manly and you don't want to order it. You want a tough, classic, simple name. A Bronx. A Rusty Nail. A Boiler Maker. But just remember to steer clear of novelty names that are associated with frat boy drinks. A Scud Missile might sound tough, but it also sounds like you do your drinking at a place with a lot of crazy crap on the wall and waiters that wear striped shirts. Sure, it will get you messed up (it's Bacardi 151 and cinnamon schnapps for any curious frat boys out there) but so will huffing paint. A name shouldn't be too trendy, clever, or have sex references in it. It's a cocktail, not a punch line.

from Modern Drunkard

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Posted by Jake Jamieson at March 14, 2008 3:41 PM
Recent Comments

If it's gonna be manly, a cocktail ain't gonna cut it. It's got to be whiskey neat or on the rocks. A classic martini would generally be ok, but on a day called S&BJ day, it's probably a bit too dandy-ish.

A beer is an acceptable copout.

Posted by: LB at March 18, 2008 12:36 AM
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