April 13, 2007

Physical Challenge: Beer Bottle Blowout

We haven't done a physical challenge in a while (we quit in shame ever since we got too girl drink drunk and then couldn't beat the flush). But, here we are, back on track and itching to dish out some more punishment. Our typical physical challenges include changing our drinking habits, or maybe playing some kind of crazy game. Today's is much more straightforward - we're going to teach you how to blast the bottom cleanly out of a beer using only your mind...and the palm of your hand.

Read on for instructions and a video of someone doing said trick from Youtube.

Below are our patented steps - see the video below.

Step 1: Fill the Bottle to the Proper Level
The bottle needs to be nearly full, with liquid at least up to, if not slightly into, the neck. The trick won't work if it's over full, however.

In theory, you could do this trick on a mostly-full beer bottle, but then you'd be wasting all that precious beer. We recommend drinking the beer, then replacing that liquid with another (we use water, but hell, try something else...gatorade, breast milk, whatever). However, if you're looking for the surprise factor, it is acceptable to perform this trick using one (1) beer.

Step 2: Position Yourself
When you blow the bottom out of the bottle, all of that liquid is going to go somewhere, so don't do this standing on your girlfriend's mom's white carpet. This is a good trick to do over the sink or trash can, but we recommend doing it outside because we know from experience once someone does it everyone else wants to try.

Step 3: Set Your Grip
Get a good strong grip on the neck of the bottle, right under the ridge where the cap used to be. We recommend doing this with your weak hand (e.g. your left if you're right handed) because you'll need to be able to bring the pain with your other hand. Needless to say, this trick works best with longneck bottles.

Step 4: Karate Chop!
Holding the bottle out in front of you, bring the flat part of your palm at a very high rate of speed on top of the bottle. You want to make sure you hit it nice and flat to push the air down into the liquid, giving it nowhere else to go but out the bottom. We've had good luck hitting with the meaty part just between the base of our thumb and our wrist, but you'll have to experiment. Screaming Sho Ryu Ken! at the top of your lungs is optional.

Step 5: Practice, Practice, Practice
We can almost guarantee you won't get it on your first try. Just keep drinking those beers and practicing until you get it right. It'll happen eventually, and the more beer you have in you, the less you'll feel that throb in the palm of your hand.

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Posted by Jake Jamieson at April 13, 2007 7:17 AM
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