March 7, 2007

BongXedo Beer Bong Review

Wearable Beer Bong
Typical Price: $39.99

The concept of the BongXedo is pretty straightforward - it's a beer bong system you wear like a tuxedo. We were fired up to test it out, so we took it to a party this weekend with visions of turning our friends into beer-soaked guinea pigs.

When we walked into the party, however, our friends got a load of where the beer comes out of the funnels (hint: it's in the nether region of the 'Xedo) and said "No way in hell I'm drinking out of that." Now these weren't our Intern lackeys, people we could browbeat and intimidate, they were our friends...

Read on to find out if we were able to convince these fine folks to drink out of our plastic johnson though the picture kind of gives it away, eh?

The Look:
The BongXedo looks like some kind of futuristic funnel suit, and we got a distinctly Tron vibe when people were wearing it. It's comfortable and relatively easy to get into, though we can see bigger folks having some trouble squeezing into it. It's made of high quality components, and we feel it will stand the test of time as long as care is put into its maintenance. While we were first putting it on, our friends were still playing it cool, saying it looked ridiculous and they'd never drink out of it.

The Action:
Our next question was how the contraption, and specifically the De-Foamer tubes, would work. We were skeptical, but as soon as we poured our first beer into the funnel we saw the foam begin traveling back up those little tubes and pouring back into the funnels. That was when we got our first glimmer of interest from our friends - we heard one breathlessly say "it's like a Stillsuit" and we knew we had him.

We also liked the fact that you could control the speed of the funnel with the nozzle, and when we opened the thing up it moved beer along at a phenomenal rate of speed. Our Editor in Chief performed the first (and only) two beer bong of the night and after conquering it in mere seconds he looked a bit dazed by the experience. When his wife asked "You just drank two beers that quickly?" his response was "It seemed like a long time to me," but he definitely had a smile on his face.

One thing we should note is that the BongXedo works best if the wearer of the suit is significantly higher than the recipient. We took to standing on a coffee table when using it, and it made the rate of speed and overall comfort level much higher. We also recommend wearing sunglasses while taking the beer bong - not for any kind of eye's just so you don't feel quite so vulnerable as you're making eye contact with the person wearing it.

The Verdict:
The thing we liked most about the BongXedo (other than the aggressive rate of speed at which we could drink beer) was the way it drew everyone in. While at first partygoers were less than interested, when they saw the first one happen they were all fascinated. It went from a party to a BongXedo party in a very short amount of time, and suddenly the same people who had said they would never drink out of it were lining up to try it.

As it infused itself into the culture of the party, the BongXedo became the party. We spent hours crafting it into movie quotes ("Luke, I am your BongXedo!", "Say hello to my little BongXedo!"), suggesting alternate uses (the BongXenema), and generally just being the BongXedo. The word itself began to be used for any application, much like a race of small blue creatures used the word "Smurf" - as in "Can you BongXedo me another beer so I can BongXedo it into the BongXedo?"

Our friends had scoffed at first, when we told our friends it retailed for about $40 at But by the end of the night, people were seriously thinking about buying them, in between shouting "BongXedo!? You can't handle the BongXedo!" We'll continue to add comments with the movie quotes we can dredge up from the night, and feel free to chime in with your own.

Note: Needless to say, Oprah wasn't at this particular party on the night of the review. For some reason our friends are touchy about their faces being shown using the BongXedo, and while it's not like these folks are running for Congress, we wanted to acquiesce to their wishes.

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Posted by Jake Jamieson at March 7, 2007 9:12 AM
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