March 21, 2006

Absinthe 1, Liquor Snobs 0

We Surrender!We are beaten, broken men. On Friday evening, St. Patrick's Day, we introduced ourselves to the green fairy Absinthe, and it tied us up, made us its bitch, and never even called the next morning. We don't blame the liquor itself - and to be honest, we were extremely impressed with the flavor and quality of the two Jade Liqueurs brands we tried. That was part of the problem.

The main problem was that we overserved ourselves in our reviewing, and treated it like a normal liquor tasting. Mistake. On no normal liquor tasting have we flooded a bathroom, broken multiple glasses, watched one of our stalwart reviewers blind tackle a television, or taken a three-day hiatus from the site because none of us could even think about drinking. Other problematic events took place as well, but we will leave them aside to protect the innocent, at least until we can send out the apology notes.

We can see why the stuff has caused so much heartache in the past, and maybe even why it was banned - but we can also definitely understand why people love it so much. Oh, and for the record, we don't think the effects were due to wormwood or thujone, or anything like that - we blame the fact that the lowest alcohol content of anything we drank that night was 130 proof.

All we can say is that absinthe is a harsh mistress, and if you respect her, she'll treat you well. If not - well, the words of one of our reviewers sums up the feelings of the next morning quite well. "I feel hollowed out like a tauntaun, and I'm pretty sure Luke Skywalker slept inside me last night." We couldn't agree more. That said, we highly recommend trying good absinthe if you get a chance...but for your own sake, be more responsible than we were.

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Posted by Jake Jamieson at March 21, 2006 6:31 AM
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Yes, I proudly don't remember my experience...all to well. It was the weekend after Christmas when I had my first, and last, encounter with the fierce and fickle mistress, Absinthe. Around midnight, after several hours of drinking, one of my friends informs me he has a bottle of Absinthe. "Are you crazy? Why did it take you so long to tell me." I stated boldly. After much laughter and excitement, we ran up to indulge ourselves in some late-night, insidious drinking. We drank it down in textbook fashion.....Several hours later I awoke in a hot tub with two empty beer cans duct-taped around my head and a perfusive amount of lip stick on.

The moral of the story is....
"Don't underestimate her. But do enjoy her."


Posted by: Jacob at January 23, 2007 9:49 PM

My one absinthe experience was in Prague. We went to some bar, had a blast learning the ritual, and got pretty hammered. Didn't overdo it at all, and thought it was great. The next day, we bought a bottle or three to take home.

That night, when it came time to go out, we were missing three of our number. Upon investigation, it was found that these three (total weight, approx. 290 lbs.) had drunk one of said bottles of absinthe in their hotel room. In doing so, they had decided that the bed was, in fact, a lovely grassy hill, down which they were attempting to roll: lie on bed, roll twice, fall off bed, roll twice more. Over. And over. And over.

They did not come out with us that night, nor on any of the remaining three we were in Prague.


Posted by: Michael at April 1, 2006 7:00 PM

I have had absinthe once. Friends brought it back from Italy. It was fun. the Ritual itself made it seem special. It was the best drunk ive ever been - but then again i didnt over do it!


Posted by: Killedasouthernbelle at March 29, 2006 10:02 AM

I can attest to everything you've said. Only i wasn't drinking good absinthe, i was drinking the evil known as hills. We tried Hemmingway's favorite drink, Death in the Afternoon, 1 oz absinthe, 5oz champagne. The results were fairly disastrous, and i was out of commision for a couple of days. She is for sure a harsh mistress.


Posted by: Eric at March 21, 2006 2:48 PM
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