February 11, 2006

'I Hate Valentine's Day' Contest Winner Announced

Happy Valentine's DayDon't get us wrong. We don't have anything against love. In fact, we LOVE love. Whenever we think about it we get all starry-eyed, with butterflies in our stomachs and unicorns frolicking in our heads. What we do have a problem with is factory-generated, candy-coated, pink-tinted, frilly-laced holidays that are manufactured by card and candy companies.

A couple weeks ago, we told you about the I Hate Valentine's Day contest sponsored by Amarula liqueur, and the contest results are in. So who won the trip to Chicago, the $500 in pocket money, and the prestige of being the biggest Cupid-hater since Romeo + Julietor Nick & Jessica?

We'll tell you now that the winner was Dea Boster - read her answer and the rest of the top 14 responses after the jump.

Top 14 Reasons Why People Hate Valentine’s Day

  1. If anyone is going to fly naked through the air shooting arrows at me, it had better be Ted Nugent. Besides, the color pink gives me gas. – Dea Boster, Ypsilanti, Mich.

  2. I was initially pleased to discover a valentine from Jenny, an attractive girl in my 5th grade class [many years ago]. Imagine the sinking feeling I experienced when I read the card: "Stop staring at me. It bugs the hell out of me." – Jon Lasser, Martindale, Texas

  3. It just gives my girlfriend one more reason to start crying and yell at me. "Of course I didnt forget. I just want to give you your surprise tonight." Then I rush to the store only to run into 20 other guys who are doing the same thing – fighting over last minute gifts. – Jason Hudak, Seneca, S.C.

  4. My mother always sends me a card that says, "Even when you're alone, I still love you." It makes me feel really lame if I don't have a significant other and a little commitment-phobic when I do. Weirdly, she always sends a kitchen gagdet with the card. – Wendy Tarpley, Atlanta, Ga.

  5. The big gesture is not what demonstrates true love. True love is getting up early to make his coffee, or letting her lay with her head on your shoulder, even if your arm does fall asleep. It's my grandfather warming the sheets on my grandmother's side of the bed every winter night for sixty-seven years so that she never had to climb into a cold bed. That is true love, and it should be every day, not once a year. – Michelle Wallace, Refugio, Texas

  6. There's no Valentine's Day card for the maybe-we're-soulmates-but-it's-too-early-to-say, or the friendship with benefits, or the gay/lesbian relationship. Everything is about "my soulmate boyfriend, who is perfect in every way." No he's not. That's the whole point of being in love - finding someone whose imperfections fit yours. – Emmy Kegler, Northfield Minn.

  7. While other friends opened boxes of chocolate covered candies and admired flowers delivered in vases by the dozen, I received a plain white envelope with no return address. When I opened the envelope I realized instead of a valentine pledging undying love, I had been served with divorce papers. – Diana Anderson, Pineville, Ky.

  8. I was remarried to my husband on Valentine's Day. We did not have a honeymoon on our first wedding so this time my husband promised me a honeymoon that would surpass any romantic vacation we would ever take. I asked for a sensual sea cruise - I got a camping trip floating down the Gasconade River and a leaky tent. – Pamela Senterfitt, Baker, Fla.

  9. I missed out on a hot date with a guy because I joined the Navy on Valentine’s Day back in 2001. Hated it ever since. – Stephanie Perry, Camp Lejeune

  10. I hate Valentine's Day because it's the day I proposed to my wife over 20 years ago. We're still happily married but we've had really bad luck on Valentine's Day even since then. All you men out there, take it from me, don't propose on Valentine's Day! – Timothy Bolly, Monroe, Wisc.

  11. Roses have thorns and chocolate gives me wicked gas. John Gallagher, Roanoke, Va.
    -more-

  12. I asked a special young lady to go to the Valentine’s dance with me and was told she couldn't. I finally got a date with my third choice. However, 2-3 days before the dance my first choice said she could go with me after all and I agreed, not having a clue as to what to tell No. 3. I realized I couldn't come up with anything that would work, so I had to beg off with both of them and miss the dance. Not only did they figure out what I had done and make my life unpleasant for several months, but I eventually wound up marrying No. 3 and she reminds me of this every February 14. – John McArthur, Lakeland, Fla.

  13. Seriously, what does a girl buy a guy on V-day? Stuffed animals? Sappy cards? Raw meat? I have no idea. – Stephanie McDonald, Houston, Texas

  14. My girlfriend and I celebrate our anniversary a week and a half before the commercial holiday. No matter how many discussions we have about how we are not going to celebrate V-Day, there are always incredibly awkward situations that derive from this fake holiday. I can't count how many times her friends have given me dirty looks that just scream "deadbeat" because I didn't send her flowers or chocolates on this one particular day in February. She tells me she doesn't want a gift, but then there is always a long face to deal with when she sees other couples at special dinners. – Andrew Mantini, Arlington, Va.

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Posted by Jake Jamieson at February 11, 2006 9:49 AM
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