January 9, 2006

The Liquor Snobby Awards: Best of 2005

Golden FlaskFor the record, we came this close to canceling the Liquor Snobby awards for this year. No reason in particular, really, beyond the fact that we always like to look forward instead of back (like, for example, the way we always look forward to our next drink). Well, that and the fact that "Best of 2005" lists have been popping up as often as Anna Nicole Smith's shirt, and we recently remembered how much we hate award shows. We're pretty sure we'd been drinking when we announced the Liquor Snobbies, but we'll make sure the show goes on and our favorite products of the year get their righteous due.

We've split the awards up into Liquids and Solids categories, and each contains multiple sub-categories along with the winners of this year's crop of online Golden Flasks. So here they are, in no particular order...

The Solids

Best Keg Accessory: Uber Tap - Three taps on one keg, a foot pump and you can mix cocktails in it!
Honorable Mention: Octopus Tap - Three taps!

Best Bar Technology: Kegbot - Pours you a beer and IMs you about it too!
Honorable Mention: AI Bar - Can mix 1,000 different drinks, doesn't wear pants.

Best Booze Book - Reading: The Modern Drunkard - Best bar moves, the Zen of drinking alone, plus 365 reasons to drink.
Honorable Mention: On The House - Poisonous fun.

Best Booze Reference Book: The Instant Expert's Guide to Malt Whisky - Great advice, no bull.
Honorable Mention: Whiskey: The Definitive World Guide - Whisk(e)y info by region from Michael Jackson (not that one).

Best Beer Pong Accessory: Bombed! - Plus, you can find out what it has to do with Zamfir!
Honorable Mention: Bing Bong, BJ's Beer Pong - Two excellent brands of portable tables.

Best Drink Wear: Malt Whisky T-Shirt - Cool shirt, great font, clever execution.
Honorable Mention: Liquor Snob Intern Shirts - Not to toot our own horns...but the hoodie is even cooler.

Best Bottle/Can Opener: Shotgun 2.0 - One of the coolest gadgets we encountered last year, period.
Honorable Mention: Fanning Sandals - Finally, fashion and function collide.

Best Drinking Game: Tara Reid Drinking Game - Watch out for the Frankenboob.
Honorable Mention: Google Drinking Game - Drink up, geek.

Best Mobile Booze: Portable Bar - For the drunk on the go.
Honorable Mention: Hops Holster/Beer Belt - So many belts that hold cans of beer, so little time.

Best Shot Glass: Quaffer - Shot meets chaser, all in the same glass.
Honorable Mention: Envious Ounce - It lights up!

Coolest Gadget: Gray Kangaroo Filter - It's like a Brita for booze.
Honorable Mention: Coldpole - Chill your booze while you're on the slopes.

Strangest Product: Beer For Kids - Drink up, Junior...there are sober kids all over the world.
Honorable Mention: Liquor Lock - Hands off my hooch.

The Liquids

Favorite Cocktail Recipe: Dumpster Juice - Tastier than it sounds.
Honorable Mention: World's Blackest Black Russian - We like it with home made Kahlua.

Favorite Gin: Stretton's London Dry - Thank you, South Africa.

Favorite Vodka: Tito's Handmade - Corn + Texas + Tito = Tasty!
Honorable Mention: Tommy Guns - Brings new meaning to "shots."

Favorite Flavored Vodka: Orange V - Fighting scurvy, one drink at a time.

Favorite Liqueur: Paula's Texas Orange - Hey, hey Paula...
Honorable Mention: Tuaca - What's "Drink Up" in Italian?

Favorite Whisky: Lagavulin - Now THIS is Scotch, lads.

Favorite Whiskey: Bernheim Original Wheat - We'd rather drink wheat than eat it anyway.
Honorable Mention: Rittenhouse Bottled In Bond Rye - Same goes with rye.

Favorite Rum: Appleton Estate V/X - High-end rum without paying top dollar.
Honorable Mention: Sailor Jerry - Tattoo your liver.

Favorite Tequila: JB Wagoner's Ultra-Premium Blue Agave Spirits - OK, OK...it's not officially tequila, but we don't care.
Honorable Mention: Everything Else

Best Product Name: Big Black Dick Rum - The mind reels...
Honorable Mention: Fighting Cock Bourbon - It's all about the Cock.

And there you have it...Liquor Snob's best of 2005. We now return to our regularly-scheduled drinking.

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Posted by Jake Jamieson at January 9, 2006 6:50 AM
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