January 22, 2006

How Not To Miss A Party

Where The F Are We?It has come to our attention that we're among the most directionally-challenged people we know. We often make wrong turns or just plain go in the wrong direction, which usually ends up with us calling and sheepishly asking for "the directions one more time." We can usually live with it, when we're driving to mundane things like work, parole hearings or the in-laws. But last night we missed a party we'd been looking forward to all week due to poor planning, bad luck, and the frustration that comes about when you're driving around a town you don't know at night.

So this morning we've compiled some tips to help you avoid the traps we fell into last night. See below for our advice, and please chime in with suggestions of your own.

  • Bring the host's phone number: Writing it on the directions is a good way to make sure you have it, and don't forget your f@&%ing cell phone like we did!

  • Double-check your directions: There are tons of resources available for mapping your route that didn't exist a few years ago, so check out the route in a couple of them to find the easiest one; don't just rely on one. To quote the scribes Samberg and Parnell, "let's hit up yahoo maps to find the dopest route. i prefer mapquest! that's a good one too. google maps is the best! true that! double true!"

  • Don't be afraid to ask: Sometimes even the best directions can be confusing if you're not familiar with the area - and it doesn't help that you'll usually be trying to get to a party at night so you can't see anything. Don't let your machismo get in the way of stopping off to get oriented.

  • Don't pick fights with your co-pilot: If you have someone reading the directions for you, they're most likely just as interested in getting to the party as you are. Both of you should keep tempers in check if you get lost, and don't let frustration get in the way of finding your destination.

  • Bring a flashlight: That way the co-pilot can look at a map and read the directions without turning on the dome lights or distracting the driver.
Those are our thoughts - and yeah, it seems excessive to some of you, but for those of you who've gotten lost, we hope we've been of help. We probably don't have to address the more basic stuff, like make sure you have plenty of gas and don't get into the beer until you arrive, right? Now, if someone will just come up with one of those Google Maps hacks that would show all the liquor stores on the route to the party, and all the McDonald's on the way home, we'll be all set.

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Posted by Jake Jamieson at January 22, 2006 10:34 AM
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